
A thunderstorm wakes me at 3 am. I am out of bed and padding to the door before the second sonic barrage arrives. I don’t want to miss one of these awesome displays where our atmosphere reveals, just for a few moments, what it can do. Power unimaginable. Those streaks of color across the clouds … wait … how many seconds before the sound comes? … we can calculate distances between us and the lightning bolts.
To calculate the distance to a storm, use the Flash to Bang Method by counting the seconds between seeing a lightning flash and hearing the thunder, then dividing by 5 for miles or 3 for kilometers.
Miles away means safety, right? Only relative, I’ve learned. One summer day about twenty years ago two young men were swimming at a beach near Yankton, South Dakota, only half a mile from our home. In the western distance one could see a storm brewing, with occasional bright flashes in darker clouds. Out of that distance a lightning bolt reached out and found both of these boys and killed them. The sky above them was not in any way threatening.
That episode has changed my behavior ever since. Where I used to wait in the boat and keep fishing until the storm was nearly upon me, now I head for shore at first rumble. My new goal is to never be on the water and offering a lightning bolt a place to call home. It’s a quirk of mine.
But standing in my kitchen, watching this drama through an open door while being warm and dry is exciting, even thrilling. I believe that I am safe here, but if I am wrong and an errant band of electricity comes my way through the screen door, I will never know, will I? Like you don’t hear the bullet that kills you.
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This morning an earnest and beefy guy faced a video camera and told us that if the price of diesel doesn’t come down by October 1, all hell will break loose in the trucking industry … i.e, a general strike of sorts. He told his audience that we will find ourselves in fourteen kinds of deep doo-doo if that happens.
I’m sorry for us if that happens, but if he was looking for my sympathy for his personal plight he missed it by several hundred yards. The numbers show that roughly 75% of truckers voted for Trump in 2024. Those who voted for an idiot madman and expected something other than what they are getting … dumb as fence posts, the lot of them.
The next video that popped up into my feed was of a young woman who told us about the “Fifty Things to Stock Up On Before the Coming Collapse of Damn Near Everything.” I think that I won’t be giving away any secrets when I tell you that rice and beans were major players in her list of foods to hoard.
So today got off to a rousing start, and when my heart rate came down far enough that I trusted myself to operate a toaster, I made my breakfast.
I really have to be more careful when choosing what to watch early in the day, when I am so much more vulnerable.

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Our local weather couldn’t be sweeter at the moment. We finished up a week where each day some rain fell onto parched Montrose County. Now the days are in the 70s, the nights in the 40s, and life is good. Daughter Amy came for a visit over the weekend and told us that the leaves have turned color above 8500 feet and are probably at their peak right now. Robin and I will wander up there in a couple of days to check on things. Our dominant colors are gold and yellow and everything else in that part of the palette. Some of the other shades are named amber, gamboge, aureolin, maize, lemon, mustard, sunflower, flax, and saffron.
Sometimes the beauty of the gold leaves will just make your heart ache, especially at sunset when there are those gorgeous red tints in the light.
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Poor Cluck, whenever he is held up in comparison with Mark Carney of Canada. Carney being the immaculately dressed manifestation of everything you ever wanted in a leader. Intelligent, thoughtful, canny, able to actually plan ahead. He can walk a straight line, speak eloquently, and I have seen no mention that a repulsive odor follows him wherever he wanders.
Cluck, on the other hand, has dragged us into a fetid swamp and neither he nor any of his Forty Thieves show any signs of having the faintest idea about how to get us out of it. (A swamp that Cluck created in toto, by the way.)
Oh, for the golden days of yesteryear, when the worst we had to worry about were vicuña coats, occasional adultery, and exotic dancers jumping into the Tidal Pool. In those cases we knew what to do … shake our finger at them, scold them, forgive them, and then get back to the messy business of government.
There were plenty of fools in those days, but fewer blatant criminals.
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