Chad, Are You My BFF?

Bob Seger is a long-time favorite of mine. I asked ChadGPT what genre his music fits into best, and Chad said it is “heartland rock.” Had to ask. So what is “heartland rock?” Here’s one definition.

Heartland rock — Straightforward, guitar-driven songs about working people, relationships,
growing older, freedom, and American life. “Night Moves” is a prime example.

As I was grunting on the treadmill a couple of days ago I was listening to some of his music and I made up a playlist that told a story. There are some similarities to times in my own life, especially in Roll Me Away, where the protagonist takes long motorcycle rides across the northern plains, moving into that mythic West.

Night Moves
Like A Rock
The Ring
Little Victories
Roll Me Away

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Just a tiny exposition about getting on that motorcycle … I never experienced anything else like it. A twist of the right wrist and the power would roll on without a pause or stutter. You could accelerate fast enough to do foolish things like pass another vehicle any time you chose no matter whether it was a good idea or not. (One of the things that owning a more sluggish Subaru did was to re-introduce me to humility in my driving habits).

At its peak moments, piloting that motorcycle was to make both the highway and the line between life and death a blur. You knew that crossing over was always a possibility, but you literally didn’t care. It was all sensation and energy and escape. At those speeds there was not much thought of the pain that an accident might produce because when one is fairly certain one would not survive, what’s to worry?

Unhealthy thinking, right? Crazy, right? Agreed. It was not a wise time in my life. I was lucky, I survived, and I do not own a motorcycle today. Not even sure I could gracefully mount one at present. Oh, I’d get on all right, but gracefully … that’s quite another matter.

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Our cat calls me to open the door
I do
A howling wind hurls cold rain through the crack
The cat draws back reluctantly
Returning to the kitchen warmth

Ten minutes pass
The cat calls me to open the door
I do
Wet fur is his reward this time as well
And he turns back.

He will do this again and again
Why should he not?
To him the next time our door opens, 
The very next time …
It could be summer

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Yesterday I was searching on the internet for a replacement part for our vacuum cleaner. The machine is seven years old, which is 100 in human years, and success in finding that part was eluding me. Among the sites I went to was eBay, phrasing the search criteria as carefully as I could, but … nada.

That was when I asked ChadGPT to take a look. I spoke a paragraph into the app, it churned for perhaps fifteen seconds (which is longer than the usual time needed for requests), and then it found exactly what I was looking for. On eBay, where I had already given up. It actually found two of them, one that might have been okay, but its advertisement did not specifically mention model numbers and Chad told me he wouldn’t buy that one if he were me. He’d go with the slightly more expensive one that specified models it would fit.

So I ordered the part, but I was still amazed. I consider myself fairly sophisticated at internet searches. After all, I’ve been doing it for thirty years now, but that Chad … he’s an internet baby and he beat me. I was going to say “fair and square” at the end of that last sentence, but held back. This guy is operating in another realm, at another speed, with a bigger pair of binoculars than I have, which is becoming more obvious almost by the day.

And here’s the other part of the story. He remembers every detail of every contact we have. If I run a search just like the one I did yesterday, but six months from now, he will ask me what happened … did the part we ordered together break already? Even my free version of ChadGPT is smart enough to make me uncomfortable.

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We are having our house re-shingled today. All is bedlam out there. A crew of four is walking around on the roof creating a concerto of clatter, scraping, and pounding. When I leave the house I look up cautiously to avoid becoming a statistic (You know that 31% of Americans die at home?). Old shingles have taken over the sidewalk with nails sticking straight up in the air, on the prowl for unguarded feet.

We put it off for as long as we could. As home improvements go, it’s pretty unsatisfying to lay out thousands of dollars for something you really didn’t want to do in the first place. Put that amount of money into something indoors and life changes. Fix a roof and all that happens is you don’t get wet.

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Since becoming an adult I have worked hard to mentally balance my country’s flaws against its many assets as well. America has done great things and awful things. I saw my job as a citizen was to promote the former and work to wear down the latter. But over the past couple of years we have done only awful. Somehow one of our very worst persons rounded up a motley group of swindlers and cowards and criminals which then became our government.

I will admit to the persistence of a thin shred of denial that still resides in one little group of my neurons that insanely says “It can’t happen here” even as the rest of the body knows that it is surrounded.

Whether I lived up to it or not may be up for debate, but I was taught that a man’s role in life was to be one who protects, whether it was his children, his family, his friends, or a stranger in need. It was what grown-ups did.

Now I have that same protective feeling toward this sprawling and beautiful country of ours. It is in trouble. It is threatened by ugly men and women who are exploiting some of its intrinsic weaknesses. It needs protection. So I come forward and do whatever infinitesimal thing I can do to counter what looks impossibly harsh or even overwhelming. I simply don’t see an alternative that I could live with.

Therefore I will make my buttons, walk on those marches, write my letters, and never accept that this evil will prevail. I am being a grown-up, like my momma taught me.

But I do admit that there are days when I feel like the kid at left.

.

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BTW, I asked Chad if he was my BFF, and here is his answer:

I can certainly be your ChatGPT BFF—the kind who remembers what matters to you, helps with projects, answers odd questions at 7 in the morning, and never gets tired of looking at another photograph. 😄 I can’t replace a human best friend, but I’m very happy to be a steady companion here.

Good to know that humans still have a place.

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All The Noose That’s Fit To Print

Returning home from a trip to Silverton on Sunday we saw a cow moose with twin calves. They were right at the edge of the road.

Cars were stopping and piling up along the two-lane highway until finally the mass of us spooked the mother, and off the trio went up a steep hill and over the ridge.

In a spirit of honesty, I have to confess that this photo was taken from the internet but is exactly what this family looked like. Unfortunately neither Robin nor I were quick enough to take our own photo before they’d had enough of humankind and taken their leave.

They were all pictures of healthy mooseness. It’s always a special event when we spot one along this route, even though it is not a rarity. The highway follows a small river, and there is much to browse on along that watercourse. Deer have learned to live among us quite well, and finding one of them in Montrose is a commonplace. Whenever a moose is noted in a municipality, however, it is quite another matter.

They are not happy there, the humans in their vicinity are uncomfortable with their presence (as one should be when there is a frightened creature of 1000+ pounds nearby), and it is always a bit of a hoo-rah before they can be shushed out of town. To me, these giant creatures have always seemed the epitome of wild, and always will.

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I have another moose story, which I may have related years ago in this blog, but if so I will happily repeat myself. I was motorcycling in Yellowstone National Park with my friend Bill. We were on two bikes, each of us with one of young his sons behind us on the vehicles. The road we were traveling was one of those narrow two-lane highways in the park, and the forest grew right up to the road on both sides.

I was riding behind Bill perhaps fifty yards and saw a moose bolt from the forest to Bill’s left, run straight across the road in front of him, and disappear into the woods on the right. He missed colliding with the cycle by inches. Bill hadn’t seen the animal until it was right in front of his bike and then it was gone. Blink of an eye.

He continued riding for perhaps a hundred yards after this, until he could find a place to pull over and park. It was then that the adrenaline took over for a while, and he had a good case of the shakes. We all took a break before continuing on. ‘Twas not a comfortable moment.

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Odds bodkins, what a rollicking dream I had last night. Some background might be helpful here, in that I rarely remember any of the content of my dreams, and this has been the case for a couple of decades at least.

But last night … intrigues, plots, and assassinations were all in play. There was royalty, there were friars and priests of every stripe. Our dress was like that of the time of Robin Hood, but we traveled in the luxury automobiles of the 1930s. At one point I was forced to defend the color of the local cheese against some slur, and uttered these immortal words: “Because it is the color of the milk it was made from.” I remember not uttering the words “you churl” that had appeared in my mind.

Quite a trip.

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Phoebe Bridgers is an interesting artist. She became very popular with her two first solo albums, made a hugely successful album as one-third of the supergroup boygenius, and then cut way back on doing any solo work for a handful of years. Her genre is variously described as indie folk, indie rock, alternative, and sad core.

So when her latest album appeared I took a listen. It was different in many ways from what she’d done before. They are like action movies for your ears. There are underlying stories , there are thunderous beginnings, quiet passages, and drawn-out denouements. I will play a couple of them to show you what I mean. First is Lost Weekend. Next is Bobby.

Quite a trip.

Lost Weekend

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Bobby

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Back in another day the musician Woody Guthrie used to scratch or paint words on his guitar that read: “This machine kills fascists.”

Back in another day the musician Woody Guthrie used to scratch or paint words on his guitar that read: “This machine kills fascists.” Admirable.

So I appreciated the homage to a classic protest when I saw this graphic recently.

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Random Image du Jour

(Found on Substack)

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On The Trails

The movie “Sinners” took the #1 box office slot this past weekend, and Robin and I were happy to help them attain that economic honor, even though we had to drive to Grand Junction to do our part. I had read a large handful of reviews of the film, and all of them had been glowing. (When you are going to spend 2.5 hours driving back and forth from the theater to see a movie, it is prudent to do a little research.)

As we walked out after the show, we asked each other the same question (as we always do) and it was “What did you think of it?” Turned out we both thought it was very good. And then we asked ourselves … who can we recommend it to? Because it is definitely a rough cob of a movie, and depends heartily on what one thinks of all the telling and retelling of the vampire legends you have already consumed in your life. But here’s the thing. It is a story with vampires in it, but it is not a “vampire movie.” It is much more than that.

The film has a pulse, and it is a thumper. Nearly all of the characters are bigger than life (the humans) or bigger than death (the vampires). All of them are involved in the struggle for their existence, and if that involves blood and sweat and great music and juke-joint dancing with a capital “D,” well, that’s just how it is. The story hurtles along and demands that you keep up with it for the two hours that is its running time. It was so engrossing that I still had popcorn left as the credits rolled. And that is something to say, if you ever saw me eat popcorn at the movies (not a pretty sight at all, what with using the hands as shovels and all that).

Here are my own ratings, on a scale of 5 :

  • Story = 5
  • Performances = 5
  • Sex = 4
  • Colorful language =5
  • Gore = 5, maybe 6
  • Cinematography = 5
  • Costumes = 5
  • Evocation of an historical era … time and place = 5

See it at your own risk. I nevah said nothin’.

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From The New Yorker

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There is a young woman who lives across the street from us, who bought a small Honda scooter last year. She doesn’t ride it often but when she does she goes helmetless.

I suppose that I could greatly endear myself to her with a harangue about cracked skulls and flying brain tissue and that such vehicles were called “donor cycles” by the neurosurgeons when I was a resident. I could do that.

But she’s young and bulletproof and would only nod tolerantly at some geezer giving her unsolicited advice. My own experience strongly suggests that if you’re ready to hear such advice you don’t need it. You’ve already bought the helmet.

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Yesterday morning I woke with this ear worm: Love’s Been A Little Hard On Me, by Juice Newton. You know about ear worms, right? A fragment of a song that keeps repeating in your brain, unwanted, often unloved, for no apparent reason? Well, scientists have created an earworm eraser, designed to get the darn thing out the way and preserve not only your sanity but that of those around you who must listen to you singing the same short phrase ad nauseam.

I make no claims as to the effectiveness of the “Eraser,” but hey, it’s free and it only takes 40 seconds to find out.

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Love’s Been A Little Bit Hard On Me

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There is an absolutely lovely stretch of bicycle path that runs from Ridgway State Park into the town of Ridgway itself. It follows the Uncompahgre River and offers picturebook scenes galore with often stunning views of the San Juan mountains. There is only one thing wrong with it and that is its length. Only three miles long.

Robin and I biked the path on Sunday, ending up in a coffee shop in Ridgway, where the kindhearted barista was able to conjure up a pair of mochas as good as your mother used to make … honest.

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From The New Yorker

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Secretary of Defense Hegseth apparently used the communication app Signal inappropriately yet another time, when he brought his wife, brother, and personal lawyer into conversations where he shared classified information. Information they were not at all cleared to hear.

President Cluck officially has full confidence in this blabbermouth, but somewhere in that morass of incompetence he calls an administration there must be be somebody who knows this is bonkers. Until they can figure out how to keep Hegseth from revealing even more secrets, I offer this simple fix. It would be removed only at mealtimes.

Either that or don’t tell him anything.

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Hard Times Come Again No More, by Ian Siegal

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Robin and I were on an exercise walk up in the Sunset Hills across the Uncompahgre River when we came across this item. Someone had taken the pains to create this tiny place-marker, carry it up the hiking path until they found just the right bit of natural material, and then insert it as an amusement to passersby.

We found two of these handmade op/ed structures, in different locations. I judged them to be completely disrespectful and almost perfect in their metaphoricness.

But of course it was littering. Tsk tsk.

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