The 30-day Paradise weather forecast is for mild temperatures through to March. No one is guessing as to snowfall. Robin and I took a long walk Sunday in 48 degree sunshine. Winter has been no trial at all, although we did have to cancel a weekend getaway at the end of January due to harsh conditions at Monarch Pass. We had wanted to spend time in Buena Vista and Salida, but at the pass were cold temperatures, blowing snow, and twenty miles of the roadway described as snow-covered and icy.
Now for an acrophobe like myself, tell me that there are icy roads for 10 miles before and 10 miles after a pass above 9000 feet and you have talked me right back onto the sofa, from which I cannot be budged without my making an awful scene. If there were lives to be saved by my attempting that drive perhaps I would have taken the chance. But when fun was the only goal, fageddaboudit.
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We have received the official notice that there will be the third national No Kings Day on March 28. So we have two months to plan what our Indivisible chapter is going to do. So much is going on nationally right now, that who knows what will be the burning issues two months hence. Our focus is, as always, getting the tyrant government out of power and replacing it with the regular batch of crooks, posers, and tosspots that we are more comfortable with.
I was dismayed to read today that gun purchases and firearm safety classes have become hot items for liberals to sign up for. In some locations one has to take a number to get a class and a permit. On the one hand, it is easy to understand how the murderous excesses of ICE can make people fearful, make us look around for some way to try to cut the risks of daily life when these rats come to your town by the thousands. On the other hand, yet one more armed segment of the population … . I don’t trust a liberal’s aim or judgment when it comes to handguns any more than I do one of the MAGA morons. Taking friendly fire on Main Street?
I doubt that my buying a pistol would accomplish much for me. ICE has armor, sophisticated weaponry, gases of several sorts, and specialized communication devices. They may be an army of thugs, but they are an army. I think my best defense is to look as pathetic as I possibly can, and to practice loud whimpering as my weapon of choice. If I can assume the posture of someone not worth shooting at and get these barbarians to believe it … then I’ve achieved my tactical goal.
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I did own a handgun once in my life. In the late 1950s television broadcasting was full of western series with names like Gunsmoke, Wanted Dead or Alive, Paladin, Cheyenne, Sugarfoot, Lawman, and on and on. Impressionable young men everywhere were taking up the art of the fast draw, and there were competitions around the country, often associated with saloons and bars.
Being nothing if not an impressionable young man I bought a Colt .22 caliber pistol and a fast draw holster. I would take it to the country and shoot any tin can that moved or threatened me in any way. Then I would come home feeling like a reincarnation of Wyatt Earp and lovingly clean the weapon. Ahhhhhh, the smell of gun oil. More manly than Old Spice aftershave.
One day I was lying in my upstairs bedroom, caught up in my role as a bored and irritable adolescent. The clothes closet door was ajar, and I could see one of the sturdy ceiling beams that supported the house. The longer I stared at it the more it seemed to me that I should shoot it, and so I took that Colt Frontier Scout and plugged the beam dead center.
It turned out that even a small pistol makes quite a bit of noise when discharged indoors, and that thunderclap caught my mother’s attention. There were several discussions about the propriety of shooting at the house from inside (or outside, for that matter). Shooting the house was therefore strictly forbidden from then on, on pain of permanent confiscation of the offending weapon. There were also other conversations about the soundness of my mind, my moral character, and my overall judgment. Many of these tete-a-tetes began with the words: “What in the world.”
But what finally led to my pride and joy being taken away for good was entirely the fault of my younger brother. One afternoon he asked to borrow the gun to go the a local dump and shoot at bottles, and I let him take it. While he was at the landfill accompanied by a cousin of ours, he decided that just shooting bottles was not good enough. He was going to challenge a bottle to a gunfight.
The victim was selected, the paces counted off, and in a flash he drew the pistol. Well, actually, he didn’t … not quite. He only got the gun halfway out of the holster before he pulled the trigger, shooting himself in the leg in the process. The wound was fairly superficial, but was going to need some stitching, so our cousin drove said brother to the nearest hospital emergency room. In Minnesota all gunshot wounds must be reported to the police, no matter how trivial or how stupid the story. This meant a call to the police > who then called our mother > who then confiscated the pistol > and I never saw it again.
Of course I was indignant about the punishment since as far as I was concerned I was a complete innocent. But my parents were now beyond the range of entreaties, and simply didn’t want to hear about that particular item ever again. I can’t tell you what they did with it, they went completely silent whenever the subject came up and took this secret to the grave with them.
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So far there has been only one seed catalog in our mailbox this year. This does not bother me at all. Since we moved to Colorado our gardening has been less rewarding than I had hoped. My limited skillset goes like this:
- dig small trench in ground
- sprinkles seeds in trench
- cover seeds with dirt
- water liberally
- stand back and be ready at all times to reap bountiful harvests
Any variations from this untroubled scenario are met with ignorance and chagrin. For instance, when one lives in a semi-arid environment, watering properly is a real art. Too little and the plant dies. Too much and the plant dies. Then if you happen to get the watering just right, the plants are now food for an alarming variety of insects big and little. The little ones are the worst, because in many instances once you see their effects the game is already over, and the plant dies.
For the unskilled individual like myself, gardening is a series of disappointments that lasts for months. That kale that looks so good and costs $1.99 a bunch in the market will cost me $3.99 to grow in my own garden. That is, if I get any at all.
We have friends that live only a couple of blocks from us. They have a lush garden each year that could easily feed several families. I try not to visit them during the growing season because if I do I must take the mandatory tour of their many raised beds and somehow come up with compliments while herbicidal (and sometimes homicidal) thoughts are competing for my attention. They are nice people with gardening skills while I am a ill-tempered person with a black thumb. The contrast can be almost too great to bear.
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Little Home In The Valley 