Month: December 2024

Most of the Time

jono55

I think that I might have already read about thirty short blurbs about the new Bob Dylan biopic, and I’ve done that without even trying. The hoopla machine must be starting to smoke from overuse by now, and perhaps it needs to be shut down and given a bit of preventive maintenance.

So I am totally tenderized and ready to watch it should it come within range, which means if it comes to Grand Junction. (By the way, if you were wondering about the origin of that town’s name, wonder no longer. It sits at the junction of the Colorado and Gunnison Rivers, and the Colorado was once named the Grand River.)

Why would I go to see such a movie when I already know all the songs and much of how his life has unfolded? Well, that’s a fair question.

Perhaps because we are both Minnesota boys of about the same age. Or that the lyrics to some of his songs have spoken truth to me since I was a lad. Or that it’s nearly January and some mid-winter boredom is setting in. Or that I suspect that much of what I think that I know about Mr. Dylan’s life story is wrong, and perhaps I’ll learn something new .

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Most of the Time, by Bob Dylan

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A dense fog rolled in yesterday afternoon and is still hanging ’round. Visibility is less than half a city block. Travel in our part of the world is moving at a sensible speed as a result. Unusual, a fog like this here in Paradise.

Quite unlike on the Keweenaw Peninsula of Michigan, where I lived for several years. The Keweenaw was a finger of land about 15 miles wide and 40 miles long that stuck out into Lake Superior. When you are nearly surrounded by one of the largest lakes in the world, fogs are a regular part of life.

FOG

(by Carl Sandburg)

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Unlike Carl Sandburg’s fogs rolling in on little cat’s feet, the Lake Superior version would materialize around you. One minute visibility would be unlimited and the next you couldn’t see to tie your shoelace.

One fall evening I had traveled to a small-town hospital fifteen miles north of where I lived to consult on an infant. There were clear daytime skies on the ride up, but darkness and dense fog when I stepped out the hospital door two hours later.

To make things even more uncomfortable on that return trip, I was driving a small motorcycle, a Kawasaki KZ 400, to be precise.

Tooling along at 10-15 mph I wasn’t much worried about hitting something in front of me. No, it was someone in a car or truck smacking into me from behind that was the main concern. I’ve never felt more vulnerable when motoring than I did that night, because I knew that the taillight on that bike was too small to be much help in the fog.

So in this grand mist this morning? I’m not going anywhere at all. The poet’s cat will need to get off its haunches and pad out of town before I even start the car.

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I’ll go no further without sharing an image of my first motorcycle love, the Kawasaki machine mentioned above. there were bigger and faster bikes to come later, but none did more to free me from the four-wheeled cage that is a car than this one. You don’t forget your first time.

Risk-averse people used to ask me why I would ever ride a motorcycle. What could I possibly get out of it that was worth the hazard? I would answer: “You remember when you were a kid on your bicycle and you were riding down a long hill? How much fun that was?” They would always nod in assent. “Well, on my cycle I get that same feeling going uphill.“

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Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door, by Bob Dylan

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There is an interesting article in Saturday’s NYTimes about saunas and sauna culture. It takes the form of a 750 mile road trip from Grand Marais MN to Copper Harbor MI, sampling some of the luxury offerings that tourists might enjoy, or at lease pretend to love. Some of you might question the sanity of sitting in a 200 degree sweat-room and then leaping into Lake Superior in the winter then back to the steam room and back to the lake … you get the picture. But there are those that give this exercise in the treatment of one’s body (that would likely violate the terms of the Geneva Convention) credit for their health and peace of mind.

What is missing from the article are the thousands of residents of this same area who quietly install small personal saunas on their property for much less than the $50,000 units that are discussed. Ordinary folk who just want to percolate themselves whenever they feel the need, and do so without spending a small fortune.

My first sauna experience was at the home of a friend of mine in high school. Mike’s parents were artists and their home couldn’t have been more different from that of my family of origin. His mother taught modern dance in the Twin Cities and his father was a sculptor and painter.

On learning that I’d never sauna-ed, Mike invited me for an evening when his parents happened to be throwing a party. Most of the other attendees were middle-aged inhabitants of a world unknown to me, but I knew I was not in Kansas any more when a slightly portly Lonnie (Mike’s father) walked through the crowd carrying a tray of hors d’ouevres and wearing nothing at all. Although I was slightly hungry, I declined to take a canapé, being unsure of the hygienics of the situation.

Mike then took me out back to the sauna, showed me where to leave my clothes, and I undressed and entered the steamy wood-scented room, where others had already gathered. Not accustomed to being in a completely nude environment with both men and women present, I found a piece of bench as far from the light as I could get. Although I was a curious 15 year-old, and would really have liked to look more carefully at the first nude adult females I had ever been that close to, I neither wanted to be seen or to be seen see-ing, so I hunkered over and stared at the wooden floor.

After what seemed to be an acceptable period of discomfort, I rose and left the room to find my clothing and resume normal existence. All in all, when looking back, I wish I had done things differently. Today I would take one of those canapés and think nothing of it.

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Like A Rolling Stone, by Bob Dylan

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Saturday evening: Just left the theater after viewing “A Complete Unknown.” The film rocked us both. Not a single disappointment and nothing but respect for the actors playing people that many of us grew up listening to and watching from a distance.

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Where To Start

jono55

Last night I started rereading the Tao te Ching for perhaps the third time. Each time I go through it I am given the gift of learning new things. Last night there was a quotation in the book’s foreword which contained information that I badly needed to read right now. Here’s the story.

Our next-door neighbor had a big Vote for Cluck sign on his garage door during the last campaign season and I put up a Harris/Walz sign in front of our house. We have not spoken since the big vote last November.

Post-election I have constituted myself as a large pile of resentment toward those who voted for the other guy. All sorts of negative adjectives run through my mind each time I think about it. All the way up to idiocy and treason. Actually, I go beyond even that and rain down vigorous calumnies on their ancestors as well, going back several generations to question the manliness of great-grandfathers and the virtue of great-grandmothers.

This needs to stop. I am making myself miserable to no purpose. But the self-righteous part of my brain tells me that by God I am right and that I should never forget that, and also that I am a much more moral person than all the rest of those b****rds put together.

So I have quite a lot to deal with, as you can see. It makes little difference that I am causing most of my own problems. They are still problems. And now in the middle of all this the Tao has made its move. Here is the quotation:

What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man’s job?
If you don’t understand, this, you will get lost,
however intelligent you are.
It is the great secret.

One interpretation that (which is awfully tempting) is that I am the good guy and the superior being and if I could just get this man’s head scrooched around to where I could lecture him face-to-face all would be well.

Of course, there might be other interpretations. And then my thought is how does all this “teaching” really come about? Lecturing and the pounding of fists on desks (my default strategy)? No, somehow I suspect that the word humility is going to come in to play and when that happens resentment will have a harder time holding its ground.

Looks like I need to read further, I am obviously not yet one with everything.

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Hold On, by Tom Waits

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From The New Yorker

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I truly don’t know anyone else like Tom Waits. Writer, singer, actor, raconteur … you might say he has a way with words as the bare minimum, but I think that it goes further than that.

Mostly he tells stories, and the thing is that each one of them ends up feeling like part of my own story in some transmuted way. The particulars may not be different, but the universals are all there.

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When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Tom Waits

If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it’s good. I’m not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don’t cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don’t stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you’ll never see it again.

Tom Waits

Any place is good for eavesdropping, if you know how to eavesdrop.

Tom Waits

Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You, by Tom Waits

When I was younger I bought into the idea of the suffering artist, with a glass of scotch in one hand and a dangling cigarette in the other. Becoming an attractive dissolute was my goal, and an early and “romantic” death was my clear endpoint. Like a male Camille but without the tuberculosis. The only problem was although I could and did learn to drink I wasn’t an artist at all. I wasn’t a musician but a guy who played records on a stereo. I read books but didn’t write any. I had become a periodic drunk without ever becoming charming.

So if I kept going I would just die in a very ordinary fashion, and no one would write precious stuff about me and how pure my heart was and how sad it was that a man with such talent perished so soon. I was wasting the single life I’d been issued.

So I quit.

Lots of good people stepped forward to give me a hand, and right at the head of that worthy and necessary bunch was a lady name of Robin. At some point I started to pay it forward, becoming one of a multitude helping to keep the doors open for the next person unsteadily weaving up the path to a rented room in the back of a church.

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From The New Yorker

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Looking For The Heart of Saturday Night, by Tom Waits

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Bang A Gong

jono55

As I unpacked the groceries a couple of days back I set aside the three small bags of mixed nuts in-the-shell. You know, the kind you struggle to break open without smashing the contents to smithereens, failing most of the time even on a good day.

And I mused.

The purchased mix was English walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, pecans, and Brazil nuts. With some trepidation based on years of dashed expectations, I picked up a nutcracker and had at a walnut. As I applied pressure to the arms of the tool the walnut suddenly shot out and hit the wall.

I had forgotten that while we have two nutcrackers, one of them is so lacking in all aspects of performance that what just happened was not actually a malfunction, it was what it does! Each year I think that I’ve thrown it away but then the next December rolls around and out pops the Nutcracker from Hell to darken one more day.

Here are the two crackers we own. The one on the right works beautifully. The one on the left is diabolic.

Apparently simply trashing it is not enough, it needs to be buried by someone acting quite alone and under a full moon. If a silver spade is handy it is the preferred practice, but if not a steel one will do the job most of the time.

The hole must be at least three feet deep, and the device buried face down. This is where things often go wrong because it is exceedingly difficult to tell the face from the back on a nutcracker.

In my childhood it was Grandpa Jacobson who put out the nuts to shell each year at Christmas, and I still attempt to maintain that tradition when I can. It is the reason I purchase these bags of frustration each year.

He would set them out in a bowl exactly like this one. I found this item on Etsy where you can purchase such a bowl for a measly $276.00. (I strongly suspect that Grandpa paid much less for his.)

In my family of origin, the only nuts occasionally found in the cupboard were walnuts used in baking, and salted peanuts for snacking. So the varieties offered at Christmas time were special.

But what was this? Here came the cosmic joke. These delicacies were not just be picked up , be amazed at, and then eaten. Nossir. You needed a tool to bring them out into the open. And even when the tool worked properly, you might have these problems to deal with:

  • the frequent mummified nutmeat, inedible and very sad-looking
  • the process of removing the nuts from their shells resulted in their being shattered 99% of the time
  • the shell fragments are sharp and pointy things of various sizes that find their way to the floor and would be discovered by barefooted early risers the next morning, producing much involuntary hooting followed by careful tweezering to remove them.

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Joy to the World, by Train

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Another sad article in the Times of New York on Thursday. The death rate from measles in the Congo is much higher this year than in the past, the reason unclear. The disease is epidemic there, not because of resistance to the idea of vaccines but because of problems with getting the highly effective preventative to the people in that beleaguered country. People who want their children protected but either have inadequate local medical resources or none at all.

Here in the U.S. we have a more than adequate supply of the measles vaccine, and enough medical personnel to get it to every child. The only problem is what is euphemistically called vaccine resistance. My own take is that it could be better named epidemic vaccine ignoramus syndrome. Parents who will summon their inner gullible and listen to an anti-science influencer peddling bad information, and in doing so place their children’s health and life at risk on either the flimsiest of grounds or no grounds at all.

The whole sorry mess doth make the blood boil in an ancient pediatrician’s breast. We were so close to eradicating this particular bit of nastiness from the world that it is appalling to watch what is happening out there now. I would like to see those influencers dealt with using the shouting fire in a crowded theater rule. Turn over their rock and somehow hold them responsible for the effects of spreading deluded misinformation. Perhaps make them pallbearers at the childrens’ funerals.

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Ravel: Pavane Pour Une Infante Défunte, by Erich Appel, Oliver Colbentson

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Read a review today of a new film that sounded intriguing. When I reached the end of the piece I ran headlong into this paragraph:

Almodóvar’s films often explore doubles: mothers and daughters, pairs of lovers, twisted friends. “The Room Next Door” does the same, in several different registers, and I think that’s the point of the title. We cannot really know what another person is going through. Even if we follow Weil’s exhortation and ask, we’re incapable of fully inhabiting another person. We can’t live inside of them. The real act of friendship, of love, is to check on one another in the morning and make sure we’re still there. 

NYTimes: The Room Next Door

What that bit of writing meant to me is that living out here hundreds of miles from any metropolis as I do, I will not ever be able to walk into our local theater here in Paradise and watch the movie. It might not even make it as far as Grand Junction. Very thoughtful films with deep themes and deep characters just don’t sell enough tickets to be able to compete with the comic-book universe.

I went back through the review one more time and found absolutely no reference to superpowers, things being blown sky-high, or hyper-powered automobiles and their drivers being pitted against one another in meaningless confrontations. Don’t get me wrong, I am not whimpering about the situation but only describing a reality. I’ve met one of the theater owners and like him. I appreciate very much that occasionally he will bring a film to town that surprises me, and that the convenience of driving only a couple of miles to see it is gratifying. I also realize that showing films like “The Room Next Door” week after week would probably mean that the theater would not survive and even those rare surprises would go away.

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Every great once in a while when I am hiking a particularly beautiful stretch of trail above treeline I will break out into my butchered version of the following song. In doing so I embarrass my companions and alarm others we meet on the path. I can see those strangers checking their phones to see if there is cellular coverage in case I am coming down with trail rage.

I don’t care. It’s me and my inner Pavarotti and some mild hypoxia having a great time together.

The Happy Wanderer, by Frank Weir and his Orchestra

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Lastly, and because it is Christmas and all, I feel the need to make a confession. In 1958, when I was a stripling and completely devoid of anything approaching musical taste, I first heard the Harry Simeone Chorale version of “Little Drummer Boy” while piloting my 1950 Ford coupe on a nameless highway somewhere in Minnesota, probably on my way to doing something slightly illegal involving spiritus fermenti. The little fable and simple arrangement stayed with me, and I was not surprised when it later became a big hit, eventually joining that select list of tunes and carols that are played at Christmastime every year.

Here is the Chorale appearing on the Ed Sullivan show in 1959. Pretty, tasteful, melodic, serene.

Over time there were many many other artists who covered this song, most of them respectful of the original vibe, most of them not quite coming up to the original, IMHO. (But remember, devoid of musical taste). And then a few short years ago, these brothers came along, blew the song apart, restructured it, and had a hit on their hands. With modern stagecraft, enough percussion to be the background music for Sherman’s march through Georgia, and strobe lighting of the sort that brings on seizures, King and Country added their version to the canon.

Where does the confession come in? Well, my favorite version is still the original one by the Chorale. But there is a little militaristic and mindless part of me that can be sucked right up into a bit of bombast. So once each year I play King and Country for myself, watching the video on YouTube and listening on headphones, so that no one is aware of my solitary and shameful vice.

And I know I can count on you not to rat me out, right?

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Haiku, Winter

jono55

I have started to write the Great American Novel scores of times. Each effort was eventually scrapped. If I have any talent at all it seems to be in shorter pieces, essays, poems … the sort of meanderings found in this blog, for instance.

Which is why when I first came across haiku and bothered to learn something about it, I knew instantly that I was among friends. It was the economy of it all, the formalities, the natural themes that appealed to me. The Japanese must take all of the blame for starting me on this path. Traditionally haiku are three-lined poems, of 5-7-5 syllables per line. Most of those I selected today but the very last one are by Japanese masters of the art, but that 5-7-5 format did not survive translation.

To me, they are like photographs, whereas a novel might represent a movie. It’s not too hard to put myself or my experiences into the picture with haiku, which is part of its charm.

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When the winter chrysanthemums go,
There’s nothing to write about
But radishes.

Basho

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Song For A Winter’s Night, by Gordon Lightfoot

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Here,
I’m here—
The snow falling

Issa

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Going home,
The horse stumbles
In the winter wind.

Buson

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Colder Than Winter, by Vince Gill

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Cover my head
Or my feet?
The winter quilt.

Buson

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Winter solitude—
In a world of one color
The sound of wind.

Basho

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Winter, by Tori Amos

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Miles of frost –
On the lake
The moon’s my own.

Buson

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The snowstorm howling,
A cautious man treads upon
Bare and frozen earth

Anonymous

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Winter, by Peter Kater

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Some comments on the music –

Song for a winter’s night: there’s a cabin, a crackling fire, and a big ol’ down quilt to get under. We just have to find where Gordon put them all.

Colder than winter: I have experienced winters of the heart, and since I know that I am not unique, perhaps you have as well. Vince Gill never sounded better or more plaintive.

Winter: from Tori Amos’ first album, an exceptionally brave and talented young artist just getting her career underway.

Winter: yes, yes, of course Peter Kater is New Age-y as he can be, but it’s still a rather nice way to pass a few minutes. Remember how way back in those dim dark days (almost) beyond recall when your teacher in “music appreciation class” would put on a piece of music and ask that you imagine that it was snowing or raining or that the oboe’s voice was a duck quacking? Well … have at it.

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Meeting That Deductible

jono55

The assassin who murdered that health insurance CEO recently was caught at a McDonald’s in Altoona PA when another patron recognized him from online photos and called the police. Authorities now have the gun, the guy, and what seems enough evidence to bake him hard in court.

He might not come to trial for a year or two because if you are affluent enough you can spend quite a bit of time waiting for your case to come up as your legal teams place tire-puncturing devices across every road leading to you and prosecutors must clear them one at a time.

But there is still a question regarding this story that I’ve heard nothing about so far.

  • If a perfect stranger could look at a photo and pick him out instanter … where were all the people that he knew who didn’t do anything even when they saw his image on the evening news? All of his buddies and all of his family and all of his classmates in school … did even one of them make a call?

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The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

H.L. Mencken

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O Come All Ye Faithful, by James Bla Pahinui

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Somewhere along the way I realized that my social and moral education was improved more by listening to the stories told by oppressed peoples than those related by their oppressors. Nothing I have learned since that epiphanic moment has changed this outlook.

My early life was a sheltered one but in the 60s I became aware that not everyone in the USA was of Scandinavian ancestry. Well, I thought, there’s something to be learned here. So I bought some books, attended some lectures, listened to some blues and spirituals and ultimately decided that I was enlightened. I’ve got this, thought I, and it wasn’t all that hard.

Well, I didn’t have it, and still don’t. Intellectually I was able to go only so far on my own, and I have had to turn to others for help. That’s why a piece in Thursday’s NYTimes on Nikki Giovanni was so interesting. I knew of her, but had not read much of what she has written, so for me there was much to learn from this article.

But the real treat was a link to a video conversation between Giovanni and James Baldwin that was recorded in 1971. It was fascinating to see two brilliant people spend two hours talking about ideas. To argue respectfully as black intellectuals even as they each had to lean in from their respective sides in order to bridge a generation gap.

My personal needle felt it had moved an inch or two toward understanding when I had finished watching these videos. Maybe I’m wrong and I am just as obtuse as I was when I got up this morning, but I don’t think so. I may not ever know fully what it means to be black or red or brown or yellow, but I do believe that I can do human better than I have done in the past and that what I have just watched was one step moving in that direction.

Here are the links:

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On the Wings of A Nightingale, by The Everly Brothers

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Holy Highway 61 Revisited, Batman! I just watched a trailer for a film that comes out Christmas Day and while I know it likely won’t come to Paradise, which the pandemic turned from movie Heaven (sorta) to movie Limbo (pretty much), I will by God drive to see it when it comes within range. It’s called A Complete Unknown and is about a relatively short period in the life of a guy that we geezers grew up and old with. His name is Bob Zimmerman.

He might not have known at the time that he was writing the background music for our lives, but that’s what happened. Those lyrics of his … well … they won him a Nobel Prize. What territory do they cover? Not much, really, just human rights, civil disobedience, war, injustice, aging, grief, love, loss, Billy the Kid … and on and on. Not a bubble-gum piece in the lot.

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Saben the Woodcutter, by Gordon Bok

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As of Sunday morning Robin and I are gradually winning our battle against a virus as muscular as a microbial Hercules and as unpleasant as finding president-elect Cluck sleeping in the guest room would be.

Robin is her eighth day and I have as yet had only four days to whinge about my problems. Friday night I barely slept because my nose had become a raging cataract to the point where I could not lie horizontal and had to spend the night sitting up in Robin’s recliner.

We’ve also developed the sort of cough that makes anyone near us in the grocery aisle cross themselves and reach for their prayer beads.

This too shall pass, is what we tell ourselves between whoops and cringes. I have a suspicion that the culprit may be RSV, which is doing to me exactly what I saw it do to a thousand infants in a dozen hospitals. But although I may be ancient I have big lungs, unlike all those babies back then who struggled for days to catch their breath.

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Here’s Yawping At You

jono55

We have a middling sort of winter so far. Too chilly for outdoor summer sports, not enough snow for skiing or snowshoes. At least not nearby.

So what I do is sit inside and complain. I don’t like to brag, but I’m good at it … really good. In fact if there was a merit badge for kvetching I would have a chestful of honors. An international whining competition? Just hand me the first-place cup, buddy, and it will save us all a lot of time.

And that’s not because the competition is weak. Most people love to complain. It’s even expressed in our language. You know how Eskimos are supposed to have 50 words for snow because of its importance in their lives? In my online Merriam-Webster Thesaurus there are 55 synonyms for complain.

And some of them are the greatest words! A delight to any logophile! My typical day is when I get up in the morning, stretch a bit, and then begin the day with a good yawp, blubber, or caterwaul before breakfast. Couldn’t be off to a better start! Here is the list that Merriam-Webster provides:

Whine

Grumble

Bitch

Cry

Gripe

Nag

Inveigh

Wail

Bellyache

Beef

Yowl

Caterwaul

Grizzle

Crab

Yawp

Quarrel (with)

Lament

Bewail

Blubber

Scream

Mutter

Growl

Kvetch

Kick

Squawk

Holler

Grouse

Bleat

Fuss

Kick up a fuss

Carp

Grump

Yaup

Object (to)

Quibble

Fret

Deplore

Moan

Worry

Squeal

Whimper

Whinge

Murmur

Repine

Keen

Protest

Yammer

Kick up a stink

Grouch

Croak

Sob

Maunder

Cavil

Bemoan

Stew

There. Don’t you feel better knowing what a wealth there is available to you for use in such a good cause? (I especially like “deplore” because one uses it from a position of moral superiority, looking down the length of one’s nose.)

Notice that I called it a “good” cause. Think about it. Many of us have learned that our existence is not that fabled bed of roses. Things could be going along sweet as you please and suddenly a truck backs up and unloads a metric ton of horse excrement on your life.

This is where the usefulness of complaining comes in. It is something to do while you’re picking straw and other oddments out of your hair. It is a blow struck for sanity and survival when the world is just too much with us.

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Lo Siento Mi Vida, by Linda Ronstadt

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I’ve tried to recall just how old I was when my belief in Santa took the big hit. I was pretty young, maybe five or six years old … don’t know for certain. Thinking back I wonder why it took so long. After all, the presents had always borne tags that read: To Jack from Aunt Addie, or To Jack from Dad and Mom, etc. etc. None of them had ever said from Santa. I guess I was a slow learner.

Even when the myth was busted I do remember desperately wanting it to still be true. Sheesh. What a soft-headed little citizen was I.

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I had a sort of epiphany last night. Get to be old enough and you start going round for the second time in places. Like that old shirt that went out of style long ago but didn’t wear out and now it is just the thing once again. Last evening the realization that I was involved in yet another of those time circles was when I was getting ready for bed and I was just at that moment when the clothes of the day had been tossed aside but the flannel pajamas were not yet in place and much dermis was at the mercy of a very cool room.

When I was a child we did not have central heating in our home, but an oil burner in the kitchen that depended on air currents to distribute the warmth to other rooms. There were lots and lots of shivery rooms and corners under such an arrangement. But by my adolescent years we had left that all behind and now there was central heating, with shining ductwork carrying blessed warmth to all areas equally. Fuel was cheap, global warming as yet undreamt of, and our homes were toasty warm throughout the season. A person could hang out in their living room in January wearing a t-shirt and pair of shorts without risking chilblains or the loss of digits.

Which brings us to today, where our winters are being spent layered up in our own living rooms as if we were going walking to the mailbox a block away, as we keep cutting back on the thermostat settings to reduce expenses and be good citizens of a warming planet.

The French have a phrase that I think fits this phenomenon: Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, which translates to – the more things change, the more they are the same. The French are really good at coming up with pithy phrases. Surely you remember that there was quite an excitement that accompanied this one: “Let them eat cake!”

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Long Way Around the Sea, by Low

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Rapturous

jono55

One day while I was wrestling myself into a more comfortable position in my reclining chair, I had some thoughts about the apocalypse. This happens all the time.

You may remember that it all begins with the rapture, when all the good folk are swooped up into Paradise, leaving the wretched refuse behind on earth to sort things out. Doesn’t sound like a good deal for many of us, myself included.

Now along comes Mr. Cluck, the eminent Bible scholar and Scripture salesman who is BFF to all conservative Christians as long as they are properly obeisant. To him, that is. He has amassed a large flock of people who fervently believe that he will save them from accidentally becoming what they fear most in life, being thought of as “woke.”

And I thought … what if we could somehow adjust the parameters of the rapture just the teensiest bit? If we could arrange that all those who voted for Cluck would be the ones inhaled and transported to Paradise or Limbo or wherever they are supposed to end up?

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I thought to myself, if that happened this country could then undergo some changes. So I started a list.

  • A very large number of billionaires would be gone. These folks really don’t make much of a positive contribution to America but they do have the habit of moving large chunks of money around which disrupts and sometimes ruins the lives of ordinary people. We’d not miss the chaos.
  • The loony-bin section of the gun owners of America would be suddenly absent, and perhaps we could at long last get something done in the area of firearms limitation to make all of our lives safer.
  • With the population suddenly cut by 40%, our national housing shortage would cease to exist.
  • Say goodbye to long lines at the DMV.
  • You could get a good campsite anywhere in the country with no problem, even without a reservation.
  • Fox News would dry up overnight as its customer base sailed away into the raptosphere. The network’s collection of gratingly inane voices would be blessedly absent from waiting rooms all over town.
  • Dialogues dealing with racism, climate change, gender equity (and many other topics) would no longer be thought controversial but instead as useful exercises in moving toward a more equitable and sustainable future for those who were left behind.
  • The Fascist population of the US would be reduced immediately to zero.

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Blue Christmas, by Low

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Well, another year has passed and I am still not making my own lefse. For those of you who aren’t sure what lefse is, it’s a particular sort of soft flatbread that Scandinavians of all types use to fill with anything in sight. Butter and sugar, mashed potatoes, leftover turkey stuffing … if it can be bent or squished, it can be rolled up into a piece of lefse. Think Norwegian burrito.

For a boy with Norwegian heritage, this inactivity is something akin to a mortal sin against the motherland. (It’s basically a given that I will never be allowed to enter Valhalla). Every December I think: Hey, I need to get one of those sets of lefse-making tools and get started. And then I go to the websites and find that today’s best price for a set is $222.51. And it is highly unlikely that it will arrive in time for the holidays.

So each year I decide to put off buying one until the following summer thinking that then I’ll have lots of time to practice before December rolls around. And each year I forget to do it.

It’s one of my longest-running holiday rituals.

So don’t expect anything from yours truly, but if someone more reliable offers you a piece of lefse to try you should accept it gratefully. There are commercial varieties occasionally available, but they retail for about a hundred dollars a pound, and although this stuff is tasty, nothing is that good.

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Magdalena, by Los Lobos

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From The New Yorker

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We have a new group of birds in the berm this morning. Now that our latest snowfall has melted away there are a handful of juncos picking up what’s been scattered on the ground.

They’re humble little creatures, quite happy to eat what falls from the plates of more fastidious birds. There is apparently no 5-second rule in junco-land. No matter how long a delectable has been down there it’s still fair game.

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A coward comes from behind, an armed man against an unarmed one, and kills him. The victim was the CEO of a health insurance company. The perpetrator has labeled the discarded cartridge cases to try to put a face of protest on his crime. But it is murder. There is no justification for such a crime.

The shooter has not been located or identified as yet, but there are presumptions being made that he felt wronged by the company and pursued his resentments to an extreme. Again, no justification. We can hope that the criminal will soon be apprehended.

On another hand entirely, health insurance is an industry whose members I have long believed should be forced by law to fly this banner, so as to reflect their true nature.

Anyone who has enough dealings with health insurers will eventually find themselves tearing the hair from their head and rending their garments. In my own contretemps with them it never occurred to me to shoot the s.o.b. on the other end of the phone conversation, but if they had been nearer to hand I might have pinched them good and hard.

We buy these policies to try to avoid bankruptcy when and if a major illness comes along. And at those times we too often find that instead of the insurance company supporting us, it backs quickly out of the room, salaaming as it leaves, all the while exclaiming “Not our problem.”

I can recommend an article in today’s New Yorker: What the death of a health-insurance C.E.O. means to America.

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Emily, by Los Lobos

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Happy Thoughts

jono55

I had a happy thought this morning. In just three weeks the hours of daylight will start increasing. More sunlight, less gloom … what’s not to like? Of course it’s a bit like getting a brighter bulb when you’re still living in the refrigerator, but hey – it’s a start.

I am reminded of the oft-uttered phrases:

  • It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
  • It isn’t that it’s cold, it’s a damp cold.

In both cases it is water vapor that is being blamed for all our troubles, rather than the obvious fact that the temperature levels may not be compatible with (comfortable) life.

Over the years I have made an exhaustive study of just what the optimal environmental temperature is for human beings. I will admit that my study sample is rather small, being limited to … me. But I believe my findings are still worthy of your consideration.

Summary of findings: the optimal room temperature is exactly 73 degrees Fahrenheit.

Anything above this and a human may suffer antiperspirant breakthrough. Anything below 73 and you’re wondering: where did I put that afghan, anyway?

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The Parting Glass, by boygenius

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From The New Yorker

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Flights of Sandhill cranes going by off and on all afternoon. Often so high you have to squint to see them, but that unique cronking sound is unmistakable. They are tidily and sensibly arranged in vee formations heading south.

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If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.

Lewis Carroll

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Day after day the bad odor of the yet-to-be-unleashed Cluck administration increases as it is almost entirely based on slavish loyalty and nepotism. I would describe the scent as fetid swamp mixed with hints of decay and limburger cheese.

And just when I was about to enter the state of high dudgeon over these awful Republican choices the leader of the Democratic party breaks his promise to us all and pardons his son.

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Mr. Biden and Mr. Cluck are showing us as clearly as they can that the problem with electing humans to office is to be continually disappointed. Where now is all of the posturing of either party about no person being above the law? If it weren’t for the fact that my computer sometimes behaves completely irresponsibly and illogically I would cry out: Bring on AI and the robots!

Ultimately it’s up to us, isn’t it? And we would so love to give that job to someone else while we plant our gardens and play a few more rounds of golf.* It isn’t distracted driving that’s the biggest problem out there, it’s distracted living.

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*Full disclosure here. I garden little and never played golf. I could have said go kayaking or hiking but then it would have applied to me, which I did not want it to do at all. I’m above all that. Really.

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Happy Christmas (War Is Over), by John Lennon

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From The New Yorker

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We’re getting on with the task of Christmas-izing the little space we call home. I would say we peaked in about the year 2000 or so with the amount of holiday decorations we placed about a much larger dwelling, and we have been divesting ever since. For example we’ve gone from something like thirty or forty Snow Village pieces to a modest five. From eight-foot decorated evergreen trees to 4 1/2 foot trees. We move the Buddha from his place on the berm and install statues of Joseph, Mary, and baby Jesus.

And presto! We’re done! To us the feeling is the same. Turns out that for us it’s not the size of the observance, but the observance itself that matters. Our plan is to be at home this year, and if there are others among our friends and neighbors who are doing the same we will see if we can’t get together for an evening or two.

So – three weeks till Christmas. I give myself carte blanche to bring out the holiday music each day until Robin exclaims: STOP WITH THE MUSIC ALREADY IT IS DRIVING ME MAD! At one time in our history together I had only purchased Christmas tunes to play, but now between Apple Music and Pandora I have access to enough new and old, profane and sacred, tacky and treasured Christmas music to choke the proverbial horse. Or, as in our case, to drive someone utterly mad.

I might even share some tunes here on this journal. BTW, I have never liked the term “blog.” Just saying the word makes me sound like I’m about to cough up something gross. Anyway, if the music starts to make you crazy, please indicate and I may or may not retreat.

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Oíche Chiúin, by Enya

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Alarum!

jono55

There are way too many alarmists working in the weather service. We were told to expect 1-2 feet of snow in the mountains above 8000 feet along with sub-zero temperatures. None of this sounded good to Robin and I as we tried to plan our Thanksgiving journey to Durango. We hunched over the weather app on my phone on Wednesday, waiting and watching, finally calling the pet sitter at mid-day to tell her “Game On.”

Predicted driving conditions

Our wills were in order, we had food for two days survival, enough warm clothing, and a reliable vehicle. We said our prayers and climbed into the Outback, looking tenderly at our little home for perhaps the last time. Off we went, anticipating treacherous patches of glare ice, hard drifts across the highway that could make you lose control, and trucks skating sideways right at us coming down a mountain two-lane road.

What we found was no snow at all on 99.4 % of the road, and temperatures in the thirties. The countryside was beautiful under a couple of inches of new and trackless snow. It was a breeze.

Actual driving conditions

I tried to imagine the home life of those prognosticators, how each flutter of a leaf or errant drop of moisture must send them into fearful spasms where they rush their families into basements or attics, handing out stored hardtack when their little ones cried out from hunger.

Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once.

William Shakespeare: Julius Caesar

I’m looking for a hive of valiant meteorologists. Growing less interested in what the Chicken Little variety has to say.

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Elon Musk is naming people that he might recommend to be fired when the new administration takes over. Naming people might be thought of as reckless of life (by uncharitable folks like me) when he and his new orange BFF have a large following of blackshirts and brownshirts who like nothing better than than to be given an excuse to hit people.

The richest man in the world publicly picking on ordinary citizens … anybody see a problem here?

Where’s my dictionary … let’s look under “bully” … ahhh … there we are. Perhaps that should be the name of his Musk’s new quasi-official-department: The Office of Cravens.

He fits right in with his new pal, President-elect Bonespurs.

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(Ran across a line from this poem, and just had to look it up.)

When Great Trees Fall

by Maya Angelou

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory,suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die
and our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed and informed by their
radiance, fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance of
dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

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There are those who speak our language, this English we trample on and murder daily, in such a way as to ennoble it. Or perhaps to show how innately noble our mother tongue really is. Maya Angelou had one of those voices. Each syllable ringing clearly as any bell. No mumbling. No idiosyncratic elisions. Poetry.

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If We Make It Through December, by Phoebe Bridgers

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So it is December. I must now join the consumer herd in search of some small remembrance for a handful of people. It is a dangerous thing, this entering a large and crazed group of people which has already been in motion for at least a month now. The herd slavers as it passes, every pupil dilated, every nostril flared, every breath labored. They have only just left one of the seemingly endless Black Fridays behind, and are looking desperately over their shoulders at signs reading: Only (X) shopping days till Christmas.

I will do my duty. I am no shirker. If overconsumption is required of me, overconsume I will. I am a full-blooded American, after all, and once I am galloping with the rest of the swarm it pays onlookers to be cautious of those sharp hooves and horns!

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