There are days when I run across something that’s amuses me enough that I can’t wait until tomorrow to share it. It’s my inner impatient child. Deal with it.
Both of these items are from a recent New Yorker magazine.

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The Wipe That Smile Off Your Face And Let’s Get Serious Department
Dr. Fauci Says He Has No Idea Who Locked Jared Kushner in Bathroom by Andy Borowitz